What does healing look like?

I write this in memory of my dad Alex Avramovic, 4 years now.

My dad passed over in 2016 from ‘cancer’. When I think about it, I probably don’t talk about it often enough considering I know it has led me to what I am doing right now. I was always aware that I had healing powers and I feel like I spent most of my life in hiding because of it. So when he was diagnosed, I was 20 and I put myself up to the challenge. I was going to explain to my very orthodox dad, how I might be able to help him with, what he used to call, ‘airy fairy stuff’.

I easily persuaded him. I was doing everything ‘by the book’, studying a double degree full time, and working, helping provide for the family. Dad did everything from changing his diet, to drinking only alkalized water, trying all sorts of natural medicines and detoxes, and researched a lot. Honestly, he impressed me with his choices. I remember the doctors being surprised that he was surpassing his ‘expected time frame’, by months. We did this for 2 years.

There came a time where we had a conversation about him taking the risk in stopping radiation and chemotherapy. This was a big one; this was the moment where he had to decide whether his body and the knowledge we had was strong enough to fight this, or if he needed the ‘assurance’ of an external poison. One thing with my dad, he tried everything, but never actually handled his emotional baggage. Ever. I didn’t even know the real him until he passed over.

He spent 3 months off chemotherapy, and his results were twice as good as they were before, the natural approach conspired to prove amazing results. I used to collect and analyse all the blood test results, source remedies and document the changes. I hoped he wouldn’t go back on it, the evidence was clear he was better without it. So when he decided to continue with chemotherapy again, despite the natural medicines and lifestyle choices working, he still chose fear. It wasn’t long after that.

My dad’s last words, in this reality, to me were “look after the family”. This pressure scarred me at the time as I had gone on a mission to try and do that for him, and I felt like I had failed. I have worked on all that now, I understand it was never intended to be an obligation or burden on me, however the reality of it was that it became an emotional responsibility that I could not detach from. In retrospect, it was the grounding that I needed so that I could also heal.

This brings me to my grandmother. 79 years old at the age of my dad passing over. He was her only child and all her family is overseas. She started deteriorating fast, lost 25 kilograms, diabetes symptoms worsened, grief, insomnia, PTSD, depression, you name it. I was in my last semester at university when dad passed away. I had big plans, hopes and ideas for what I envisioned I would be doing afterwards for my career. However, I couldn’t resist the fact that I knew I had the power to save her, even when I desperately needed saving too.

This was my ‘job’ now. I spent more time with her, connected with her and showed her more of whom I really was. I connected her with dad, her parents, siblings that had passed over. They all shared details so specific we were both in awe. I asked her what she needed to heal the emotional baggage that was left behind, and we both decided to go back to Serbia together in 2018. Everyone honestly thought we were crazy to go, that it was a huge risk, so many things could have gone wrong physical and mental health wise and I was on the receiving end of all of that. She proved to herself her strength by being able to physically and emotionally withstand the experience, and me too.

When we arrived back to Australia, she was admitted into the hospital straight away. A huge part of me knew that was coming, because she had only given herself enough energy to see through the Serbia experience for closure. She was in there for about 2 weeks and there were no conclusive results, other than it could be a list of at least 20 different things. This was really difficult for me, as I was now her next of kin and responsible for her wellbeing, hospitals traumatised me, and I retaliate to non-compassionate medical staff.

In that time, I was grateful that she was getting the care and revitalisation she needed to gain physical strength and weight. I sat with her one night in the hospital room speaking about the ‘next steps’, a little too surreal for us both. I have so much fucking resilience. I looked her in the eye and I said to her, “Everything up until this point… you have two options right now, and you have to embody that decision energetically. Do you want to stay, or do you want to go?”. She looked at me like she was unaware that she had a choice up until that moment, but also like she had just remembered that she always did.

I explained that her body was going to give in to whatever the doctor’s say. All because she was searching for somewhere to put the pain. She will resonate with anything that they say. There were 20 inconclusive results. So I asked her to believe that she was healthy and happy to go home. Even if she wanted a ‘way out’, then she could have manifested it then. No test from cancer to infection made sense, because she had not decided yet. I left her that night and came back the next day to visit. She made up her mind, doctors made a slight change in diabetic medication, and the next day we were at home drinking coffee emotionally processing everything that had just happened.

This all happened in the space of 2 years, it has been 4 now. I sometimes resent the fact that pain had to teach me, I would admit it to anyone if they ever asked. I have come to peace with it. You do have to lose your mind to be able to find it again. By losing it, you realise the power it truly has. You call yourself back by choosing what you learn, and then unlearn and learn again. Accept that it doesn’t stop. When I combine my professional knowledge, personal experiences and extrasensory gifts… I know I have the ability to heal and have proven to myself that I will not give up until the healing has transcended. It’s a mission. A duty.

Today, I can ask my dad for anything, and he always pulls through and rewards me for what I do. I have the most special bond with my grandmother. She is 84 soon. We talk about dad, being a woman, and life. Do you know how amazing it is to come from one end of a broad spectrum, being open to accepting the other, and then meeting in the middle? I have been recording her voice on my phone giving me her original recipes, and buying her crystals specific for her. The relationship has honestly been like playing with real life magic. Life is an experiment. Learn from everything. The hardest times have the greatest messages.

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