Healing is not something we all ‘want’ to do. That is why promoting in this industry is difficult because people judge it. No one really tells you what healing really means, because they do not actually know what it is. At the core, all people are really judging is the opportunity and conscious effort to help themselves.
People think that it is easier to avoid healing and build a wall of distractions around it. We all do this to ourselves with the places we choose to go, the people we choose to love, and the things we choose to do.
How many of those distractions that you choose, are ‘wants’?
Why do you do it if you do not ‘want’ to?
If it is not a ‘want’ for you, it is because it is a ‘need’ for them.
All you are doing by distracting yourself from you healing is helping others heal, so that you learn through them. You cannot avoid it by running from it. The healing ends up happening to you anyway through break ups, job issues, family toxicity, health problems. Situations where you have no control, are the ones that hurt the most. You can confront it by ‘wanting’ to heal, so it does not reach that point again.
When you say no to healing yourself, you say no to change for yourself. When you sit barricaded by this wall of distractions, there is always a deep feeling that there is something is missing. The solution is in the symptom. What you feel is missing in one part of your life, is the same thing you ‘want’ from another (person, place, thing). This is why you can believe you are happy BUT there is never enough money for the hours you put in, never enough love from your partner, never enough recognition for everything that you do, never a good enough explanation when you need one, never a good enough job for your skill sets, never a good enough body for all the effort you put in.
Because secretly, you do not want to come to terms with why you do not feel like you are enough, doing enough, living enough, happy enough, loving enough, working hard enough, explaining yourself well enough. So you blame everyone, everything and everywhere for the parts of yourself that chose to build that wall of distractions with.
And that is where the healing is.
You have to understand how you did it to yourself. It is not your company’s fault you don’t feel valued, it’s yours for not valuing yourself and leaving to find better position, or communicating your desire to grow with them. If value at work was the issue, you would have asked for what you deserve?
It is not your partner’s fault that you do not feel enough love from them, it is yours for not giving it to yourself first and believing you had to give it all to be loved by them. If you know you are giving your all, and still do not feel enough love, when will it ever be enough?
It is not that you do not have a good enough body, it is that no matter how much physical effort you put in, you look yourself in the mirror and cannot see a physical change that makes you feel good enough.
So I can understand why people avoid healing. Because it is fucking hard confronting yourself, and actually figuring out what it is that you ‘want’ and why you want it. Worse than that, it is the realization that you have never really been doing what is it that you ‘want’, and it is all because of you. Ignorance is bliss most times, but I never really got the chance to choose that path.
So I am here as proof that you can ‘want’ to change, and everything will be okay. Dela.